22
Jul
13

JOHN BOEHNER IS WORKING HARD FOR YOU

John Boehner

I’ve been finding it hard to get motivated lately. It’s probably because it’s summer and summer is for outside stuff and sleeping. Well, not that I get to actually do that. I take care of my kids all day which means that I’m up at the crack of dawn to the sound of two young boys fighting over AVENGERS action figures. That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of my day. Nevertheless, a few of you have taken to emailing me about my sporadic posting. I honestly enjoy interacting with people who read this site. Well, those of you who speak English and aren’t threatening or vilifying me. Not that I mind. It’s very entertaining in a cute, “those people are crazy” kind of way.

But, if there is one person you would think would be busy all goddamn year long it would be the Speaker of The House Of Representatives. Because you know, he kind of runs the United States Congress. Which itself should be a busy place. Like, O’Hare Airport or LA County Criminal Court busy.

“Should Congress be passing any laws? House Speaker John Boehner doesn’t think so.

Asked whether Congress has been “historically unproductive” under his leadership, the Ohio Republican declared the idea “total nonsense.”

“Now listen, we made clear when we took over, that we weren’t going to be doing commemorative legislation on the floor,” he said. “Most Americans think we have too many laws. And what they want us to do is repeal more of those.” – MSNBC

This is one of those things that sounds like it should be true. This is, after all, America and holy shit do we hate rules here. We even have a constitutional right to own weaponry which was, at least initially, intended to protect us from anyone telling us what to do. But, like the idea of me being a sex symbol or a cult leader with millions of unquestioning followers, it might sound logical but in reality it’s just a bunch of crazy bullshit. It’s like saying “Should plumbers be fixing more toilets? No, says this plumber who is broke and his business is failing.” And it appears I’m not the only one who feels this way.

“In polls, Americans disagree: poor productivity is a key reason they disapprove of Congress. A June Gallup poll found that ‘ineffectiveness’ and ‘partisan gridlock’ was the reason 59% of Americans disapprove of Congress’ job. Just 19% of respondents in the survey said Congress’ performance on certain issues was why they disapproved.

By the numbers, Congress really is quite unproductive: the 112th Congress, which ended in December, passed just 219 bills—the lowest number in decades.  In comparison, the 111th Congress passed 383, while the 110th passed 460.

Just 18 bills have become law this year—even fewer than the 23 bills that had become law by this time in the 112th Congress. This week, the House of Representatives voted for the 38th time to roll back aspects of Obamacare.”

While I have every respect for persistent people (well, not really because persistent people are fucking annoying and I usually just end up ignoring them) repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome is a sign that you have a mental illness. Or that you’re one of those spinning pinwheels on a Mac. And it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to just disagree with people who are accusing you of being useless. I do it all the time. Whenever my wife comes home and the kids are still running around in their pajamas and I’m playing Xbox in my underwear she accuses me of being lazy or unproductive. And while I would strongly disagree with what is clearly a misconception on her part it doesn’t really get me out of trouble. Likewise, Mr. Boehn can spin his failure anyway he wants. He could at least come up with an entertaining excuse for it. Like, he could say this Congress hasn’t passed very many bills because they’ve been busy fighting aliens or solving mysteries or something. A little creativity can work wonders. I actually write that in the memo column of every check I write.

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