18
Nov
13

SHELDON ADELSON IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN

Boris Karloff

I love it when the wealthy try to take care of us. Well, when I say “take care” I mean it the way some people would say “keep us just barely alive and surviving so they can cling to our backs like some kind of demonic parasite and drain us of the very will to think or fight.” Do I sound cynical? I hope not. The last thing I want anyone to think is that I’m some kind of cynic. Oh, wait a minute. That’s sort of my thing here at Magnus Greel. Yeah. Nevermind.

“Billionaire casino magnate Shel­don Adelson, whose record-breaking campaign spending in 2012 made him an icon of the new super-donor era, is leveraging that newfound status in an escalating feud with industry rivals over the future of gambling.

Adelson, best known for building upscale casino resorts in Nevada and more recently in Asia, wants to persuade Congress to ban Internet betting. He says the practice is a danger to society and could tarnish the industry’s traditional business model…

…To make his point, Adelson is preparing a public campaign to portray online gambling as a danger to children, the poor and others who could be exploited by easy access to Internet betting.

Three states have moved to legalize online gambling, with New Jersey scheduled to go live this month. At least a dozen others are expected to consider it next year.” – THE WASHINGTON POST

I think, in all likelihood, the only reason this animated corpse would be concerned about children or the poor is because he needs them healthy and alive. Only then can he hope to chant the unholy words from the book of Hezeglesh, dance naked with the Krazphalian Witches and then ritualistically slaughter poor people and their offspring so that Fezelkletz will hand down eternal life from Mount Voord. I mean, hey, it works for Jerry Brown and Alan Greenspan.

In all seriousness (or not, whatever) rich people are concerned about the rest of us the way a farmer is concerned about his cows or his pigs. If this grotesque old man really cared about kids he’d give his billions to education or healthcare and quit bitching about some housewife in New Jersey playing blackjack on her smartphone. And exactly what is the casino industry’s “traditional business model” anyway? Oh yeah. That would be the model where mostly poor people save up what little money they have, fly to Las Vegas or Atlantic City, drop an assload of cash on hotel rooms and food and other shit they don’t need and then blow the rest at a fucking slot machine. Yeah. I can see why Sheldon doesn’t like this internet stuff at all.

Actually, no. I don’t understand what he’s upset about. He’s clearly like a week away from a paralyzing stroke or breaking his hip by falling in the shower. Why do these ancient rich guys still give a shit about making money? This one has only a few good years left before someone has to hang a sign around his neck reminding him to eat and shit on a regular basis. If I were this guy’s age and had billions of dollars I’d probably just buy a flying house and cruise around the world giving people the finger until I finally passed away. I wouldn’t be trying to influence government and change the law with a bunch of pubic hair glued to my head.

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