The Ass Man

I haven’t written about Syrian President Bashar Assad in a while. And part of the reason is that there is nothing new I can really say about this retard. I’ll admit to being quietly pleased that we managed to remove his chemical weapons capability without starting another goddamn war in the fucking Middle East. But, I’ll also admit to being quietly disappointed that we didn’t just kill him anyway. I mean what the hell is Syria going to do about it? Invade us? Their navy has like three boats and their air force is from the same technological era as Colecovision. But, whatever.

Assad and his regime still give me the occasional reason to want to blog about them. Which is kind of impressive. I mean, once you’ve slaughtered 100,000 of your own people and given the finger to the rest of the world it would seem like you’ve pretty much done it all, right? Wrong.

“The UN’s human rights chief has said an inquiry has produced evidence that war crimes were authorised in Syria at the “highest level”, including by President Bashar al-Assad.

It is the first time the UN’s human rights office has so directly implicated Mr Assad. Commissioner Navi Pillay said her office held a list of others implicated by the inquiry. The UN estimates more than 100,000 people have died in the conflict…

…Syrian Deputy Foreign Minister Faisal Mekdad was dismissive of Ms Pillay’s remarks.

“She has been talking nonsense for a long time and we don’t listen to her,” he told AP.” – BBC NEWS

To be fair I know exactly how Assad and his people feel. The IRS and my boss at work have been talking nonsense for years. And I don’t listen to them either. But you know what? I’m still going to be in a shitload of trouble when I don’t declare all of my income or show up late wearing no pants. Likewise, you can shrug your shoulders and exclaim “What chemical weapons? What atrocities? You are a very silly person. This is nonsense!” all you want. You’re still a gutless piece of shit who should have been dragged through the streets and hung from a gas station roof years ago.

Of course killing Assad becomes less attractive an option when you consider that the only alternative is the Syrian resistance. This is a group primarily comprised of half-baked jihadists with AK47’s and a problem with women who can read. Let them take over the country and in another five years we’ll have to go right back there and kill someone else. Then again the reality most Americans don’t like to confront is that we’re not as powerful as we want everyone to think we are. I think Iraq demonstrated that quite vividly and embarrassingly. And as much as your crazy Vietnam vet uncle or lonely religious nut aunt might want us to, we can’t just go around the world killing everyone we don’t like. But, hey, when your entire worldview is based on The Bible and Chuck Norris movies, well, that’s really the best you can be expected to come up with.



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