13
Jan
14

FIDEL CASTRO IS STILL ALIVE

Castromancer

This past November saw the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. And to be honest, the only reason I even know this is because the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who was the same weekend. And in my house that’s a pretty big goddamn deal. Well, it’s a big deal for me and I live in my house. It was pretty lame for everyone else who lives here that weekend. Seriously, I watched UNEARTHLY CHILD and DAY OF THE DOCTOR back-to-back. I’m hardcore like that.

Then I watched JFK. Mostly because I find Oliver Stone’s left wing paranoia adorable. Anyway, when it started dealing with Cuba and Fidel Castro I suddenly realized that Fidel Castro is still alive and still, more or less, running Cuba. Which kind of makes me reconsider my whole idea of what “50 years” means. It’s one thing to be some normal guy who lives that long. It’s another to be a world leader who has had people trying to kill you every day for five decades.

“Cuba’s former President Fidel Castro has appeared in public for the first time in nine months.

Mr Castro, 87, attended the opening of an art studio in the capital, Havana, on Wednesday night.

Pictures released on Thursday showed a frail-looking Mr Castro walking with a stick and looking at works of art.

Fidel Castro led Cuba for nearly half a century before handing over power to his brother, Raul, in 2006 because of ill health.

Fidel has kept a low public profile, with sporadic appearances, ever since.” – BBC NEWS

“Ill Health” in the Castro family probably means that he can no longer stop bullets or bend metal with his mind. Any man still breathing after this many assassination attempts is either an alien or the Antichrist. Or Jason. In any case it’s probably best to just let the guy die in peace. If the world’s powers haven’t been able to kill you in under half a century then I say you get a pass at this point. Whatever black magic is holding this guy’s corpse together shouldn’t be messed with.

CastroOil

Castro does look good for his age, I’ll give him that. At least I’m assuming this is Fidel Castro. At this point in the aging process it could be a goat that fell into a pile of clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch. But, as someone once said  “it is better to look good than to feel good”. Which is probably why he looks like a well-dressed old man in terrible pain. I have this strange feeling that when I’m 87 I’ll be wandering the streets near my local nursing home in a bathrobe screaming profanity at cats and dogs. And although I won’t be a targeted world leader with enemies around every corner I’ll probably be so senile that I’ll believe I am. Which, I suppose, is really all that matters. It’s like how even though I’m not a highly respected blogger who stands out from everyone else on the internet I still believe I am. What can I say? Reality just doesn’t do it for me.

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