Posts Tagged ‘Norway

18
Mar
16

can a nazi get a table dance?

kojak clean

Every now and then I take a moment to think about the worst possible thing I could ever do. Angrily masturbating in front of a cancer patient. Tackling a quadriplegic. Fucking Hillary Clinton. I don’t actually do it because I’m not crazy. And, yes, we’re allowed to use the word “crazy”. I feel comfortable with the word “crazy”. If I had to compare myself to someone who killed 77 people in one day I would probably use words like “crazy” and not lose a whole lot of sleep over it.

“Mass killer Anders Behring Breivik claimed in court on Tuesday that Norway was violating his human rights by keeping him in isolation for murdering 77 people in 2011, but irritated the judge at the start of proceedings with a Nazi salute.

Clean-shaven and wearing a black suit, white shirt and golden tie, Breivik raised his right arm in a flat-handed Nazi-style salute on arrival at the court, slightly different from the outstretched arm and clenched fist he used in 2012.

His lawyer initially said Breivik considers himself a national socialist, or Nazi, and that the gesture was “the worst thing you can do in a courtroom”. He later suggested it was an old Norse gesture.

Judge Helen Andenaes Sekulic was not pleased either way. She told Breivik not to repeat the salute when court proceedings resume on Wednesday.”REUTERS

No, actually, the “worst thing you can do in a courtroom” is complain to a judge about how you’ve been treated in prison after killing 77 people. In one day. The fucking salute is just icing on the cake at that point. And whatever the Vikings had in mind I’m sure it didn’t involve a lonely, heavily armed man with nothing but an internet connection and a copy of Mein Kempf. Or maybe it did. Fuck if I know. At any rate he might as well have pretended to pull a quarter out of the bailiff’s ear or goose stepped around the courtroom screaming about how Anne Frank was a myth.

So what are these cruel and inhumane conditions he’s being kept in? I mean, I’m guessing that a guy who killed 77 people (in one day) is forced to sleep on spikes and spend his days being chased by bleeding AIDS victims, right? Tell me I’m right…

“Breivik’s lawyer, Oeystein Storrvik, accused Norway of violating a ban on “inhuman and degrading treatment” under the European Convention on Human Rights by keeping the 37-year-old isolated from other inmates in a special three-room cell.

“There is no tradition in Norway for this type of isolation,” he told the special court that will meet until Friday in a gymnasium at Skien jail about 100 km (60 miles) south of Oslo.

Norway rejects the charges of inhuman treatment.

“Breivik is a very dangerous man,” said Marius Emberland, the lawyer representing the state, defending Breivik’s conditions.

He said another prisoner tried to attack Breivik last year, getting to within earshot. When stopped by guards, the man shouted: “You are a killer, a child killer … And I love my country,” Emberland said.

will meet until Friday in a gymnasium at Skien jail about 100 km (60 miles) south of Oslo.”

A “special three-room cell”? That’s not isolation. That’s an apartment in jail. My first place was a studio and I didn’t kill anybody. And of course he’s a “very dangerous man”. He killed 77 people. In one day. He’s probably in isolation to protect everyone else in the prison. And the planet. He’s obviously the closest thing the real world will ever have to a Marvel villain. That guy who got close enough to yell at him (which, apparently, is the worst thing that can happen to you in a Norwegian prison. After you kill 77 people. In one day) must be a total badass. He’s probably a mutant. Or just a guy comfortable being in jail in Norway. I think I would be comfortable in jail in Norway.

On that note, “you are a child killer and I love my country” is lame prison smack. I mean it would make a killer title for a metal album. Or a cool bumper sticker. Hell, now that I think about it, I’m going to confront people at random on the street and scream it at the top of my lungs.

 

 

13
Apr
12

FREAKY FRIDAY

I have a few family members who work in mental health. And if there’s one thing that has always intrigued me it’s their belief that everyone is crazy to one degree or another. Of course for most of us that means relatively harmless stuff like watching clown porn or having a human relationship with a pet. But, for some people, it means turning into a one man murder machine.

“A second psychiatric evaluation of Norwegian mass killer Anders Behring Breivik has found him sane enough to face trial and a jail term.

The findings contradict a previous evaluation, published in November, that found him legally insane.

Breivik is due to stand trial on Monday over a bomb attack and shooting spree last July that killed 77 people.

Both reports will be considered by the court when it decides whether he should be sent to a psychiatric ward or jail.” – BBC NEWS

Breivik, who for some reason is allowed to dress like Neo when he comes to court, looks like he enjoys showing people how strong he is and that he could break out of those cuffs if he really wanted to. And in most cases I would laugh at someone that crazy. Except that this guy killed 77 people. In one day. And they’re still debating whether or not he’s insane. Which, I’m assuming, means somehow there’s a version of murdering 77 people in one day and you’re not just a little touched in the head.

At least now this asshole might go to jail instead of going free for being crazy. I always found it kind of strange that there could be a legal system in which there are relatively few consequences despite having committed 77 homicides. In one day. But, rack up a few parking tickets or make fun of the royal family in Norway and they sure as fuck throw the book at you. So I hear.

Meanwhile, in America, our most famous mass murderer just got what will probably be his last day in court. In what has become a macabre ritual since being imprisoned four decades ago Charles Manson was given a parole hearing to determine if they might actually let this fucking retard out of jail.

“Notorious killer Charles Manson, 77, was denied parole Wednesday after a California parole panel “could find nothing good as far as suitability” for his being paroled, a commissioner said.

Manson didn’t show up for his parole hearing, which was held at a state prison in Corcoran, California, where he is serving a life sentence.

Manson’s next parole hearing was scheduled for 15 years from now, meaning he could die in prison.

California Board of Parole Hearings Commissioner John Peck said that Manson has accumulated 108 serious disciplinary violations in prison since 1971 and that he has shown no indication of remorse for his nine murder convictions.” – CNN

I’m all for mindlessly going through the motions and stuff. Believe me I am. But, this kind of scares me when they do this. State bureaucrats could fuck up a bowl of oatmeal and I’m surprised that they haven’t accidentally let him out by now. Of course when it comes to my back taxes or expired car registration they’re goddamn Johnny on the Spot. I’m not sure what the moral of this story is but I think it has something to do with killing lots of people and not paying taxes. Two areas where I’m a Viking.

01
Dec
11

GENOCIDE PREFERS BLONDES

We’re in this weird void in time now between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays have already started as far I’m concerned. And yet it’s back to work for another three weeks or so before I can just sit around in my pajamas drinking eggnog all day. Actually, to be truthful, that’s what I did all day yesterday but only because the power was out. It seems that “bill” the electric company sends me every month is meant to be taken literally.

And I can say that life without power sucks. I know people survived for thousands of years without electricity but I’m not those people. Something else I’m not: Norwegian. Of course that wasn’t by choice or anything. But, if I was, then I might be able to somehow understand this:

“Self-confessed mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik is unlikely to be sent to jail after psychiatrists declared him to have been insane and suffering from paranoid schizophrenia when he killed 77 people in Norway this summer…

…it is a controversial prospect in a country still struggling to come to terms with the events of 22 July, when Breivik killed 77 people by bombing central Oslo and then gunning down dozens of people, mostly teenagers, at a summer camp of the ruling Labour party’s youth wing. “The most important thing for me is not to punish Breivik,” 20-year-old Bjørn Ihler, a survivor of the shootings on Utøya island, told Reuters. “What matters to me is that he no longer poses a threat to society…

…Breivik could legally be freed if declared healthy. “If he is not psychotic and does not pose a danger to society, then his sentence cannot be upheld,” prosecutor Inga Bejer Engh told the news conference.” – THE GUARDIAN

Well no shit he’s fucking crazy. You kind of have to be crazy to kill people let alone recreate the goddamn Normandy landings like this guy did. Why waste time and money trying to determine if the guy is nuts? I have no problem calling him insane and I even have no problem with him being held in a hospital instead of a prison but I can’t even fathom how you let the guy go free. Like, ever.

They should send this lunatic to the military and turn him into a lobotomized killing machine. And nobody would ever fuck with Norway again for fear that they would unleash this Aryan psychopath on their country. Not that anyone really fucks with Norway now. I think Sweden does. I don’t know.

And he’s certainly unassuming. He looks like a 90’s daytime soap opera star or an extra from DIE HARD. I mean he’s scary and all but I would still probably buy whatever furniture polish or cologne he was selling. Of course having the words “killed 77 people” on your resume is going to make life outside of the asylum very difficult. That kind of thing is never the chick bait you think it’s going to be. Should he ever actually get out he should buy another gun because I can think of at least 77 reasons he would need to defend himself.